


Grease Torchwood/Dr Who Style

by wereleopard58



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Grease (1978), Torchwood
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-07
Updated: 2013-04-07
Packaged: 2017-12-07 18:33:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/751683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wereleopard58/pseuds/wereleopard58
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The film Grease with Torchwood and Doctor Who Characters</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Title: Grease (Torchwood style)

Author: Wereleopard58

Rating: FRAO

Pairing: Jack/Ianto

Spoilers: Well all of Dr Who, Torchwood and Grease.

Disclaimer: I don't own Grease, Dr Who or Torchwood

N/B Sorry that some of the songs have just the person who is singing them by their name I found it too difficult and off putting jumping from scene to scene for one line of a song guess which one LOL

This was for for Reel_Torchwood on livejournal challenge sorry it couldn't be done on time.

Thank you to god_dess_of_fire for beta'ing

Danny Jack Harkness

Sandy Ianto Jones

Rizzo Christina De Souza

Kenickie The Doctor

Doody Owen

Sonny Andy Davison

Putzie Mickey Smith

Frenchy Tosh

Jan Rose Tyler

Martha Martha Jones

Principal McGee Sarah-Jane Smith

Coach Calhoun Idris Hopper

Mrs Murdock Lois Abiba

Blanche Jackie Tyler

Johnny Casino and the gamblers Take That

Patty Simcox Suzie Tom Chisum Ross

Nurse Wilkins Ms Johnson

Eugene Malcolm Clark

Mr Lynch Mr Noble

Waitress Donna

Cha Cha Gwen

Leo John Hart

Chapter One

The waves rolled up the golden beach, the sun slowly setting glittered across the water. Jack and Ianto ran up the beach hand in hand. They stopped and looked out over the beautiful sunset. They turned to each other and stared deeply into each other's eyes. Jack slowly lowered his head and kissed Ianto deeply trying to convey as much as he could without saying a word.

Ianto grabbed his hand pulling Jack to the sandcastle that they had built. As Jack stood there and posed Ianto held the camera in his hand trying to take a picture of the man he had fallen for. Slowly Jack moved back his foot finally landing in the centre of the castle they had built.

Ianto laughed at him, Jack bent down and threw some of the sand. Ianto grinned and ran into the water. Jack ran down after him playing in the water.

They made their way onto the rocks and sat down not realising how big the waves were until they were soaking wet. Jack leaned in for another kiss wishing that this moment would never end.

"I'm going back to Wales. I might never see you again." Ianto said his heart breaking.

"Don't; don't talk that way, Ianto." Jack's voice cracked slightly.

"But it's true. I've just had the best summer of my life and now I have to go away. It isn't fair." Ianto lowers his head; Jack places a finger under his chin and raised it kissing him passionately, hands gripping hard at his neck. Ianto struggles and pushes him away. "Jack, don't spoil it."

"It's not spoiling it, Ianto. It's only making it better."

"Jack, is this the end?" Ianto whispers.

"Of course not, it's only the beginning."

XXXXX

"This is the main brain, Vince Fontaine, beginning your day with the only way—music, music, music. Get out of bed; it's the first day of school. Don't be a slob, don't get a job. Go back to class, you can pass. And to start the day off nice and fine, we're gonna play a new old favorite of mine."

I saw my problems and I see the light

We got a loving thing, we gotta feed it right

There ain't no danger we can go too far

We start believing now that we can be who we are

Grease is the word

They think our love is just a growing pain

Why don't they understand, it's just a crying shame

Their lips are lying only real is real

We start to find right now we got to be what we feel

Grease is the word (Grease is the word, is the word, that you heard)

It's got groove, it's got meaning

Grease is the time is the place is the motion

Grease is the way we are feeling

We take the pressure and we throw away

Conventionality belongs to yesterday

There is a chance that we can make it so far

We start believing now that we can be who we are

Grease is the word (Grease is the word, is the word, that you heard)

It's got groove, it's got meaning

Grease is the time is the place is the motion

Now, Grease is the way we are feeling

This is a life of illusion

Wrapped up in trouble (trouble), laced with confusion

What are we doing here?

We take the pressure and we throw away

Conventionality belongs to yesterday

There is a chance that we can make it so far

We start believing now that we can be who we are

Grease is the word (Grease is the word, is the word, that you heard)

It's got groove, it's got meaning

Grease is the time is the place is the motion

Now, Grease is the way we are feeling

Grease is the word (is the word, that you heard)

It's got groove, it's got meaning (groove and meaning)

Grease is the time is the place is the motion

Now, Grease is the way we are feeling

Grease is the word

Is the word

Is the word

Is the word

Is the word

Is the word

Is the word

Is the word

Is the word

Is the word

Is the word...

XXXXX

Rydell High stood tall; the grounds were quiet all during the summer. School had started once again and the place filled up with laughing and joking as friends met with friends and enemies met with enemies. It was the zoo known as high school.

"Hey...!" Owen said as he grabbed the lunch bag.

"Gimme that, gimme that." Andy tried to take it back from his friends.

"Back, back, back. Ugh, you're not supposed to eat this, you're supposed to bury it." Owen muttered.

"Hey, that's a homemade lunch!" Andy said finally getting it back.

Owen laughed. "Ohh!"

Mickey walked beside him. "Your old lady drag her carcass out of bed for you?"

"C'mon Mickey, she does it every year on the first day of school." Andy sighed.

"Big deal, big deal!" Owen grinned.

"Yeah!" Mickey agreed.

"Doc, Over here." Owen called out.

The Doctor walked over to them. "Hey, where you at?"

Owen ran up to him. "We're right here!"

"Where were you all summer?" Mickey asked.

"What are you, my mother?" The Doctor answered sarcastically.

"I was just asking." Mickey mumbled.

The Doctor looked at them. "I was workin', which is more than any of yous kids could say."

Andy stared at him in shock. "Working?"

"That's right, I was luggin' boxes at Bargain City, moron." The Doctor explained.

"Nice job!" Andy smirked.

"Eat me! I'm saving up to get me some wheels." Doc crossed his arms over his chest.

"Yeah? You wanna hear what I did?" Mickey asked looking at his friends.

"No." The Doctor said simply

"Hey, there's Jack!" Owen called out making noises

Mickey, Owen and Andy all called out. "Jack."

Jack was leaning against a wall talking to some girls, he heard his name turned around cigarette in his mouth and grinned.

He watched as all of his friends headed towards him.

Jack made his way over to them pretended to punch Andy and headed towards his best friend The Doctor.

"How you doing, huh?" Doc said as Jack wrapped his arm his friends shoulder.

"Hey, Jack!" The three T-Birds were trying to get his attention.

"Hey, uh, you see any new broads or dudes? over there?" Doc asked nodding to where Jack was standing.

"Nah, just the same old chicks or dudes? everybody's had them." Jack smirked.

"Hey, so, what did you do all summer, Jack, huh?" Owen asked with a smirk.

"I was hanging around down the beach, you know. You know." Jack said with a cheeky grin.

Owen grinned. "I mean it's tough with all those chicks or dudes hanging around you."

"Yeah, well the only thing that hangs around you Andy are the flies." Andy replied laughing at his friend.

"Yeah, right here Andy, huh!" Owen growled.

"Hey, h-how was the action at the beach?" Doc waved his hand and raised an eyebrow.

"Whew. It was flipping." Jack laughed.

"Ooh. Crazy, yeah?" Doc asked wanting more details.

"I did uh; I did meet this one guy. He was uh, he was sorta cool, you know." Jack played with his ear, kind of embarrassed.

"You mean he puts out?" Andy asked looking up at Jack.

Jack shook his head. "Oh come on Andy, is that all you ever think about?"

"Friggin' A!" Andy laughs as he puts on his sunglasses.

The bell rings breaking up their conversation as kids all around them start to pile into the high school.

"Hey, guys! Wait up." Andy said running after his friends who left him.

"Do I look O.K. Tosh?" Ianto asked straightening his shirt.

"Sure, you look good." Tosh said with a smile at her new friend.

Ianto sighed. "I'm really nervous, you know."

"You look terrific." Tosh said hoping to make him feel a little more relaxed.

"So, this is Rydell?" Ianto looked up at the large building he was about to enter.

Tosh grinned. "Yep, you'll love it."

"I loved the last school I was at. I wish, I was there right now. Still, I'm no stranger to heartbreak." Ianto said still eyeing the building.

"Why? You got psoriasis?" Tosh asked.

Ianto looked at her with confusion; Tosh started to laugh and led her into the high school.

XXXXX

The pink car back fires as it pulls up and stops in a free parking space.

"Oh, God." Christina mutters as she gets out of the driver's side. "Well, here we are again."

"Yeah, but this time we're seniors." Martha said with a smile.

"And we're going to rule the school!" Christina laughed.

Martha looked over at Rose and saw her eating an Oreo cookie, licking the centre clean. "Rose, that is so adolescent."

Rose grinned. "We are adolescent."

"We don't have to flaunt it." Christina said putting on her sunglasses. O.K. girls. Let's go get 'em." Placing the pink jacket across her shoulders.

The three girls headed in to the school standing out in the same colour jackets, which had pink-ladies written across the back.

XXXXX

"Jackie, do you have the new schedules?" Sarah-Jane Smith asked.

"Yes, Miss Smith, I just had my hands on them." Jackie said licking her fingers from the sticky cake she had been eating.

"Oh good, they'll be nice and smudged." Principal Smith sighed.

"Oh, here we are. If it'd been a snake it would've bitten me." Jackie said with a smile as she handed the papers over."

Principal Smith shook her head. "Jackie, these are the schedules we couldn't find for last semester. Now, maybe next year, you'll find the ones for this semester." She muttered as she handed the old schedule back and headed into her office.

The corridors were full of students pushing each other around. Some of them were sliding down the banisters.

XXXXX

Mr. Noble picked up paperwork. "I've got Doc again."

"He's been here longer than I have." Lois Habiba said with a smile."

Nurse Johnson muttered as she walked past. "It's the first day of school and already my castor oil is missing."

Lois sighed and said to no one in particular. "Hmmm. How many days 'til Christmas vacation?"

"86." Ianto told her.

"86?" Lois repeated in horror.

Ianto grinned. "I'm counting."

"Ohh!" Lois walks off in horror.

Principal Smith asks. "Can I help you, young man?"

"Oh, yes, this is my first day of school. I'm not really sure where I'm supposed to be." Ianto shrugged his shoulders.

"Oh, well, welcome to Rydell. You'll have to fill out a few of these forms, but...Will you excuse me for a minute, I'll be right back?" Principal Smith said as she headed over to where two boys had started to fight.

Ianto looked around a little lost and saw another woman there with blonde hair. "Oh, excuse me. Do you have a pencil, please?"

"Oh, yes. Here you are." Jackie pulls a tiny little pencil from behind her ear and hands it to Ianto.

The bell rings again echoing louder in the building. All the students pile into rooms leaving the corridors empty except for the T-Birds.

"Jeez, every teacher I got this year's flunked me at least once." Andy muttered staring down at his timetable.

"If you don't watch it, you're gonna be spending all your time in Smith's office." Owen said combing his hair.

"Yeah, well this year she's gonna wish she'd never seen me." Andy said cockily.

"Oh yeah? And what are you going to do?" Owen said sarcastically.

"I just ain't gonna take any of her crap, that's all." Andy said not noticing that as he passed the doors Principal Smith walked out. Owen held the others back and they watched with interest. "I don't take no crap from nobody." Andy continued to talk.

Principal Smith called his name as soon as she walked through the door. "Andy?"

Andy turned suddenly. "Hello ma'am." He said politely as the others pretended not to be there.

"Aren't you supposed to be in homeroom, right now?" She asked.

"I was just going for a walk." Andy said with a smile.

"You were just dawdling, weren't you?"

"Yes, ma'am." Andy muttered.

"That is no way to start a new semester, Mr. Davidson." Principal Smith says as she walks away.

Andy mutters under his breath. Principal Smith turns around and looks at him. "Perhaps a session of banging erasers after school would put you on the right track?"

"Yes, ma'am." Andy says obediently.

"Are you just going to stand there all day?" She asks.

"Uh, no, ma'am. I mean, yes, ma'am. I mean I'm just um..." He stutters.

"Well, which is it, yes or no?"

"No, ma'am."

"Good, then move." Principal Smith says as she walks over.

"Yes, ma'am" Andy says sarcastically

Jack saunters over to him. "I'm sure glad you didn't take any of her crap, Andy. You would've really told her off, huh?"

Andy places his fist in his mouth and bites it.

"Mr. Davidson! Yes, ma'am! No, ma'am!" Owen says laughing

They all turn and head up the stairs and see Malcolm Clark walking down.

"Hey, Malcolm! How you doing?" Andy says as they walk towards him

"Hi, fellas!" Malcolm says with a wave.

"Did you have a nice summer? Shake, buddy." Owen asks holding out his hand.

Malcolm takes hold of it. "Ow!" As the charge from the buzzer that Owen was wearing goes through his hand.

"Hey, what's wrong? You're wearing glasses." Andy asks.

"I got astigmatism." Malcolm tells them

Andy tries to look sympathetic as Mickey plays with Malcolm's bow tie. "Aw, too bad!"

Mickey holds the tie in his hand. "It just fell off!" He hands it back to the little geek.

"C'mon, let's go." Doc calls out as they all rush up the stairs.

XXXXX

Ianto runs down the corridor to his class, books in hand.

XXXXX

Principal Smith is sitting there waiting to give the school announcement. Jackie is trying to get her typewriter to work.

The students are singing.

"As I go travelling down life's highway, whatever course my fortunes may foretell. I shall not go." Principal Smith looks across and Jackie and nods at her.

Jackie pushes herself across in her chair and chimes.

"Good morning, boys and girls, and welcome to what we're sure will be our greatest year at Rydell. Saturday night will be our first pep rally and bonfire, and I want to see all of you students out there with plenty of support for Coach Hopper and the Rydell Rangers. If you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter, and now for the really good news, and probably one of the most exciting things to ever happen at Rydell High. The National Bandstand television show has selected Rydell as a representative American high school and will do a live broadcast from our very own gym."

Christina sits playing with cards as Rose watches her still eating. Ianto runs into her first class the door slams behind her and all the students and the teacher turns to look at her.

The students in the classrooms cheer as they half listen to the Principal talking over the loud speaker. The Doctor sneaks across and places a mouse in Suzie's bag while she is talking to her friends.

"It is our chance to show the entire nation what fine, bright, clean-cut, wholesome students we have here at Rydell."

Suzie screams as she pulls it out of her bag running out of the room. The Doctor laughs throwing paper at her as she passes him.

XXXXX

Christina and Martha sing as they walk towards the table where Rose is sitting. "ba-ba-bamba, ba-ba-bamba, Ba-ba-bamba..."

Christina laughs as they sit down placing their trays on the table.

"Hey. Did you guys get a look at Harkness this morning? Looking pretty good this year, huh, Chris?" Rose asks with a grin.

"That's ancient history." Christina replies looking down at her tray.

"Well, history sometimes repeats itself." Martha says.

Christina mumbles a reply and Martha laughs with her.

"Hey, you guys." Tosh calls out with Ianto close behind her.

"Hi, Tosh." Martha smiles

"Hi, Tosh." Rose mutters her mouth full of food.

"Hey Tosh." Christina smiles at her.

Tosh looks at Ianto. "Go sit down."

"This here, uh, is, uh, Ianto Jones. And, uh, th-that's Rose and Martha, and this is Christina. She just moved here from Wales, UK

.

"Mmm. How are things across the pond?" Christina asks.

"Oh, fine, thanks." Ianto answers all of them stare at him.

"Hey, Martha, are those new glasses?" Tosh asks.

Martha nods. "Oh, yeah, just got 'em for school. Don't you think they make me look smarter?"

"Nah. You can still see your face." Christina jokes.

"How do you like school so far, Ianto?" Rose asks

"It's different." Ianto looks at her shyly.

"Hi, kids!" Suzie calls out as she walks over to them.

"Oh!" Christina, Martha, Tosh and Rose all groan at the same time.

"Suzie Costello, the bad seed of Rydell Hi." Christina turns to Suzie. "Hi!"

"Oh, I just love the first day of school! Don't you?" Suzie says excitedly.

Christina's voice is dry and sarcastic. "It's the biggest thrill of my life."

"Oh, you'd never guess what's happened!" Suzie whispered.

"Probably not." Christina looked away hoping that Suzie would go.

"They just announced the nominees for student council and guess who's up for vice-president." Suzie's face alight with excitement.

"Who!?" Christina pretended to be interested.

"Me! Isn't it the most, to say the least?" Suzie squealed.

"The very least." The leader of the Pink Ladies muttered.

"I just hope I don't make too poor a showing." Suzie held her books closer to her chest.

"Well, we certainly wish you the best of luck, don't we girls?" Christina looked at the others around the table.

"Oh, yeah. I got my fingers crossed." They muttered together.

"Oh, thank you. Here." Suzie started to hand out information about herself and what she could do.

"Thank you." Martha said looking down at it.

"Oh, you must think I'm a terrible clod for not introducing myself to your friend. Hi, I'm Suzie Costello. Welcome to Rydell- Oh!" Suzie squealed as she down on Rose's books. Well, I hope you'll be at cheerleader tryouts. We'll have so much fun and get to be lifelong friends!"

"You guys. How do you like Ianto, huh? Do you think we could let him in the Pink Ladies? I mean we could update, changed the name and add guys, the cheerleaders are doing that." Tosh asked.

"He looks too pure to be Pink." Christina said staring at the young man.

"Oh, double doo-doo!" Martha muttered.

"Please!" Tosh mumbled.

"What's up doc?" Rose asked with a cheeky grin.

"One of my diamonds just fell in the macaroni." Martha glared down at the food.

Rose poked around the macaroni trying to find the errant diamond.

XXXXX

Andy stood eating his sandwich. "Hey, uh, Doc, you wanna piece of salami?"

The Doctor was sitting down his legs stretched across the seat, he looked up at his friend. "Are you kidding? If I eat that, I'll smell like you."

Mickey laughed. "What a stink!"

"Hey, guys. Guys, look." Jack stood up and pointed out to the guys on the field.

"Ladies and gentlemen, dingle berries on parade!" Doc called out from his sitting position.

One of the footballers stepped in a helmet that was in front of him

"Hey, look!. You really put your foot into it this time, Ross!" Owen yelled.

"Yeah, try hopscotch, you hot dog!" Mickey laughed.

"Oh, what a gavone! Gumdrops, man." Andy chuckled as they made their way up to where Jack had stood.

"Hey. Any of you guys see that new guy in registration? Oh, he sure beats anyones around here."

"You mean he was hung way bigger than Tony?" Andy asked.

"Nobody's hung bigger than Tony!" Doc grinned as he lit his cigarette.

"Right!" Mickey agreed.

"Hey, guys." Owen pointed down to where Mickey was lying down looking up a girl's skirt and at a guy's package. "Hey." He said loudly and pointed to below the two girls that looked at him.

"Huh!" They said as they looked down and then moving away quickly.

"Hi, girls" Mickey said with a laugh.

"You're a sick man, Mike!" Owen grinned and then squirted his friend with a water pistol.

"Hey! Hey, ugh...!" Mickey muttered wiping his face dry.

Owen headed back over to Jack and Doc. "Hey, I want to hear about what Jack did at the beach."

"Yeah!" They all said.

"Nah! It was nothing." Jack muttered.

"Aw!" Owen said.

The Doctor smirked. "Sure, nothing, Harkness, right."

Mickey leant forward. "C'mon, Jack. You got in his pants, right?"

"Yeah, come on, come on. Tell us about that guy." Owen begged.

XXXXX

Tosh looked over at her new friend. What did you do this summer, Ianto?"

"Oh, I spent most of it at the beach. I met a boy there."

"Haul your cookies all the way to the beach for some guy?" Christina asked.

"Well, he was sorta special." Ianto replied.

Christina shook her head. "There ain't no such thing."

"He was really romantic." Ianto smiled at the memory

XXXXX

"Come on, man." Owen begged and the others joined in.

"Come on, you don't want to hear all the horny details." Jack said grinning.

"Are you kidding me?" They all moved forward making Jack stand up.

"Alright, I'll tell you!" Jack held his hands up in surrender.

Jack *Summer lovin', had me a blast*

Ianto *Summer lovin', happened so fast*

Jack *I met a boy, crazy for me*

Ianto *Met a boy, cute as can be*

Jack and Ianto *Summer days driftin' away to uh, oh the summer nights*

ALL *Well-a, well-a, well-a, huh!*

GUYS *Tell me more, tell me more*

Owen *Did you get very far?*

GIRLS *Tell me more, tell me more*

Martha *Like does he have a car?*

GIRLS/GUYS *A-ha/doo-doo, a-ha/doo-doo, a-ha/doo-doo...*

Jack *He swam by me, he got a cramp*

Ianto *He went by me, got my suit damp*

Jack *I saved his life, he nearly drowned*

Ianto *He showed off, splashin' around*

Jack and Ianto *Summer sun something's begun but uh, oh the summer nights*

ALL *Well-a, well-a, well-a, huh!*

GIRLS *Tell me more, tell me more*

Tosh *Was it love at first sight?*

GUYS *Tell me more, tell me more*

The Doctor *Did he put up a fight?*

GUYS/GIRLS *A-ha/do-be-do, a-ha/do-be-do, a-ha/do-be-do, a-ha/do-be-do, a-ha/do-be-do, a-ha/do-be-do...*

Jack *Took him bowling, in the arcade*

Ianto *We went strolling, drank lemonade*

Jack *We made out, under the dock*

Ianto *We stayed out, 'til ten o'clock*

Jack and Ianto *Summer fling don't mean a thing but uh, oh the summer nights*

ALL *Whoa, whoa, whoa!*

GUYS *Tell me more, tell me more*

Andy *But you don't gotta brag*

GIRLS *Tell me more, tell me more*

Christina *'Cos he sounds like a drag*

ALL *Shoo bop-bop, shoo bop-bop, shoo bop-bop, shoo bop-bop, shoo bop-bop, shoo bop-bop, shoo bop-bop, yeah!*

Ianto *He got friendly, holding my hand*

Jack *Well, he got friendly, down in the sa-and*

Ianto *He was sweet, just turned eighteen*

Jack *Well, he was good, you know what I mean (whoo!)*

DANNY & SANDY *Summer heat boy and boy meet but uh, oh the summer nights*

ALL *Whoa, whoa, whoa!*

GIRLS *Tell me more, tell me more*

Rose *How much dough did he spend?*

GUYS *Tell me more, tell me more*

Owen *Could he get me a friend?*

Ianto *It turned colder, that's where it ends*

Jack *So I told him, we'd still be friends*

Ianto *Then we made, our true love vow*

Jack *Wonder what, he's doing now*

Jack and Ianto *Summer dreams ripped at the seams but, oh, those summer nights*

ALL *Tell me more, tell me more*

Rose smiled at Ianto eating an apple. "He sounds real nice."

Christina walked passed them. "True love and he didn't lay a hand on you? Sounds like a creep to me."

Ianto frowned as he looked over at her. "Well, he wasn't. He was a gentleman."

Tosh smiled sweetly. "Hey, uh, what was his name?"

"Jack, Jack Harkness." Ianto says sadly.

Rose and Martha look at each other and giggled.

Christina glares at the other girls and stamps her foot down. "Well, I think he sounds peachy keen. And, well, maybe if you believe in miracles, Prince Charming will show up again someday, somewhere unexpected. See you later. Come on, girls."

"Do you really think so, Tosh?" Ianto asks her hopefully.

"Sure." Tosh mumbles.

"Yeah?" His face brightens.

Tosh looks him nervously. "Uh, Ianto, I think we ought to get to class."

TBC


	2. Two

Chapter Two

The night had fallen, the bonfire had been lit and the band were marching and playing around the fire.

The teachers were all sat on a platform behind the podium. All the students were cheering louder. The cheerleaders gave their yell including Ianto.

The cheerleaders started their cheer. "*Do a split, give a yell! Give a cheer for our Rydell! Way to go, way to fight! Go Rydell, fight, fight, fight!."

The crowd gets louder, the fanfare starts as the coach and the football team runs through the alleyway that was made for them.

Principal Smith moves to stand behind the podium. "And now... Quiet, please. Quiet, everyone. And now, boys and girls, the man of the hour, the coach we are all depending on to pull Rydell out of a seven-season slump, our very own coach Hopper."

The crowd cheers for him loudly as he makes his way to the podium.

"Who's the best?" Coach Hopper shouted out.

"Rydell!" The Crowd chanted in return

"Give 'em hell, Rydell! I just wanna tell you students that we

Have banner year coming up. A banner year. Well, my boys are primed, I mean really primed because I primed them. I mean, they're not only primed, they're honed,...

Ross turned and saw Ianto. "Hi." He mimed.

"honed to a sharp..." Coach Hopper carrying on talking to the crowd.

Ianto smiled shyly. "Hi." He mouthed back.

"razor edge. And, we're not just..."

"How are you?" Ross mouthed.

"going out there to win;..."

"Fine." Ianto replied.

"We're going out there for glory. And, when we get out there, we're gonna yank 'em, and tear 'em, and rip 'em. And, we're gonna take 'em, and roll 'em around, and rip 'em up into pieces! And, then we're going to slaughter 'em. And, after the slaughter is over, we're gonna come back here and ring that victory bell. Like we always wanted to." The Coach finished with a flourish.

The band started to play with the crowd cheering behind them.

"Hey, Andy, Andy." Owen grabbed Andy's arm and swung him around.

They both then went the other way. "Hey!" Andy said laughing letting go of Owen and taking hold of Mickey's arm.

"Hey!" Mickey said with a grin.

"Hey, Jack. Watch this. You're gonna love it." Andy says with a laugh as they copy the cheerleaders.

"Do a split, give a yell. Shake your tit for old Rydell." Andy, Owen and Mickey sing. The all look at each other and pretend to be the three stooges.

"Guys... Be cool, huh?" Jack looks at them as he leans back smoking.

An old beat up white car pulls up. "Hey, watch out, pinhead!" Doc calls out as Jack walks around it grinning. "Uh, what do you think?"

"What a hunk of junk." Jack said smirking.

Doc turned and looked at him. "wait 'til I give it a paint job and soup up the engine. Man, she's gonna run like a champ. I'm racing her at Thunder Road."

"Thunder Road?" Owen said laughing.

Jack looked the car up and down.

"Yeah! You wanna make something of it?" Doc threatened Owen.

"Uh-huh. I wanna see you make something of this heap." Owen looked down at the car.

Doc reached over and grabbed hold of Owen's shirt. "You're cruisin' for a bruisin'." He growled.

Andy stood up on the bonnet of the car and looked over at the flame painted car that was cruising around their school. "Hey!. What are the Scorpions doing here? This ain't their turf."

"Think they wanna rumble?" Doc said flicking open his knife.

Owen brought his water pistol closer to his chest.

Jack stood up and watched the Scorpions carefully. "Yeah, well if they do, we're gonna be ready for 'em."

John Hart glared at them from the driver's seat.

XXXXX

Coach Hopper was surrounded by footballers and cheerleaders; Ianto was right at his side. "All right, gang, let's go get 'em!" Everyone around cheered loudly.

Two students went past Ianto pinching his arse as they did. "Hey, what are you doing?" Ianto shouted at them. Tosh walked over and glared at them. The two students left them in peace.

"Aw, thanks, Tosh." Ianto said with a bright smile.

"It's alright. You know something; you were really great out there." Tosh said kindly.

"No, I really messed up. I was so nervous." Ianto looked down at his hands.

"Oh, no. Your split was divoom." Tosh encouraged her friend. Ianto was so intent on Tosh that he didn't notice the rest of the pink ladies walking up behind him.

"Hi, Ianto." Christina said from behind him.

Ianto turned. "Oh, hi, Chris. Hi, girls"

Christina grinned. "We got a surprise for you."

Ianto looked her intently. "Surprise? What is it?"

Rose laughed. "You'll see! Right, Chris?"

"Let me comb your hair down a little bit, here." Tosh said fiddling with Ianto's hair.

"Where are we going?" Ianto asked nervously. Rose grabbed hold of his arm and they walked together laughing.

XXXXX

"You know, if we fix up this car, it could be make-out city. You know that?" Jack said leaning against Doc's car.

"Right! A chick or dude is gonna have to put out before they even get in!" Andy muttered sarcastically.

"You better believe it, man!" Doc grinned at Jack.

"Hey, Harkness, I got a surprise for you." Christina grinned as she walked over to him.

"Oh, yeah?" Jack asked.

"Yeah!" Christina laughed as Rose pushed Ianto to the front.

"Ianto!" Jack's face was full of surprise.

"Jack?" Ianto whispered.

"What are you-what are you doing here? I, I thought you were going back to Wales." Jack asked amazed that the man he had fallen for was here in front of him.

"We had a change of plan." Ianto said excitedly his face alight with happiness.

"I can't..." Jack stopped suddenly realizing that Doc and the others were now next to him. His face, body, his whole demeanour changed "That's cool, baby. I mean you know how it is. Rockin' and rollin' and what not!"

"Jack?" Ianto looked confused at the sudden change in him.

"That's my name, don't wear it out." Jack smirked.

"What's the matter with you?" Ianto stared at him.

"What's the matter with me, baby? What's the matter with you?"

"What happened to the Jack Harkness I met at the beach?" Ianto wanted to know, this was not the same boy he had met.

"I do not know. I mean, maybe, uh, maybe there's two of us, right?

Why don't you take out a missing-persons ad or try the yellow pages? I don't know." Jack laughed and the T-Birds laughed with him.

"You're a fake and a phony and I wish I'd never laid eyes on you!" Ianto could feel the tears building up. He turned and stormed off Tosh hot on his heels.

"Whoa!" Owen and Andy said together.

"I wonder if he carries silver bullets." Doc wanted to know watching the retreating figures of Ianto and Tosh.

Christina stood their smiling at Jack. Jack's face was full of hurt because of the loss of Ianto.

"Sorry, she laid her eyes on you, Harkness?" Mickey said with a laugh.

Christina smiled at him one more time as she placed a hand on Rose's shoulder indicating it was time for them to leave.

"Hey, I bet that's not all she's laid on him." Andy said jokingly.

"Yeah, right!" Owen smirked.

Jack looked lost and alone as he walked away from the rest of the group.

"Hey, Harkness, I got a car, remember?" Doc called out.

Jack stopped walking and stood there.

"Come on, Jack." Owen called out.

"Alright. Who's got beer money?" Doc asked.

Jack turned and watched them as they piled into the car.

"Come on." Mickey said following the others.

"Well, I swiped my brother's I.D." Owen said with a grin.

"I got 250." Andy called out

"Come on." Owen said laughing.

"Alright. Gimme that, gimme this, open that, gimme the gear. Alright. You ride in the front with me." Doc mumbled as he took the money and the ID, then climbing into the car.

Jack sighed and turned walking back to his friends.

XXXXX

"He was so nice to me this summer." Ianto whispered crying against the car.

Tosh placed a hand on his shoulder. "Listen, Sandy, men are rats. Listen to me. They're, they're fleas on rats. Worse than that. They're amoebas on fleas on rats. I mean, they are too low for even the dogs to bite. The only man that you can depend on is your daddy. You know what you need?"

"What?" Ianto asked looking at her.

"A night out with the girls. Huh? We're having a sleepover at my house tonight. Wanna come?" Ianto nodded wiping away his tears. "Good! You'll love it. Come on." Tosh wrapped an arm around his waist and led him away.

XXXXX

"Hey, look, it's Rose!" Martha said with a laugh pointing at the TV

Rose stood next to the TV copying the character singing. "Brusha, brusha, brusha, Get the new Ipana. With the brand-new flavor, It's dandy for your teeth. Brusha, brusha, brusha, New Ipana toothpaste. Brusha, brusha, brusha, Knocks out .Decay germs fast, fast. Faster sure alright. Ip." Martha throws a cuddly toy at her. "ugh!"

"Turn it off!" Martha mutters moving back to lie on her stomach on the bed.

"Hey! Hey, hand me a ciggy butt." Christina asks Tosh.

"Oh, me too over here." Martha says as she moves to sit up with the rest of them again.

"Hey, you want one, Ianto?" Tosh asks him.

"No thanks, I don't smoke." Ianto replies politely.

"You don't?" Martha looks at him with confusion.

"Go Ahead, try it. It won't kill you. Give him a break." Christina moves across to watch him. Ianto coughs loudly. Oh, I forgot to tell you. You shouldn't inhale unless you're used to it."

"Hey, Ianto, let me teach you how to French inhale. It's really cool. Watch." Tosh takes a puff and shows her how to inhale.

Rose makes a face watching Tosh. "God, that is the ugliest lookin' thing I ever saw."

Tosh grinned. "Nah, the guys really go for it."

"O.K. O.K., how about a little Sneaky Pete to get the party going?" Christina says loudly the rest of the girls cheers as she bends over the side of the bed and picks up a brown paper bag with a bottle in it.

Rose walks over grabbing the bottle reading it. "Italian Swiss colony. Wow, it's imported! Hey, I brought some twinkies. Anybody want one?"

Martha shook her head. "Twinkies and wine. Oh, that's real class, Rose."

Rose points to the bottle. "It says right here, it is a "dessert wine"."

Tosh walked back over as everyone was taking a drink out of the bottle.

"Hey, Ianto didn't get any wine." Christina pointed out.

"Oh, that's O.K." He replies quietly from his perch on the chair.

"Bet you never had a drink before, either?" Christina smirks.

"Oh yes I did. I had some champagne at my cousin's wedding once." Ianto answered.

"Oh! Ring-a-ding-ding!" Christina mutters sarcastically.

Rose held out the bottle to him, Ianto just stared at her for a moment. "What's wrong? We don't got cooties."

Ianto took hold of it and took a large mouthful making a face as he did so.

"Hey, Ianto, would you like me to pierce your ear for you?" Tosh asked.

"dum-da-dum..." Christina, Martha and Rose said from the bed.

Tosh turned and glared at them. "Oh, shut up!"

"dum!" The three finished laughing.

"Isn't that awfully dangerous?" Ianto asked looking worried.

"Oh. No, I know what I'm doing. I'm going to be a beautician, you know." Tosh explained.

"What's the matter? Are you afraid?" Christina goaded him.

"No, I'm not!" Ianto said quickly.

"Here Tosh, you can use my virgin pin." Martha handed it over.

Rose grinned. "Yeah. It's nice to know it's good for something!"

"Perfect." Tosh said with a smile.

"Oh, Tosh. I really don't think it's a good idea." Ianto said looking a little pale.

Tosh licked the pin and took hold of Ianto's ear. "Oh, well, it's ok."

"My father won't like it. I…" He shouted as the pin touched the skin of his lobe.

Tosh stands and takes hold of Ianto's hand. "Oh! Uh, Ianto, why don't we go into the bathroom. My mother will kill me if I get blood all over the carpet."

"What?" Ianto asks at the bathroom door and rubs his ear.

"Oh, it only bleeds for a second." Tosh explains.

Ianto paled. "Tosh, I don't feel very well."

Christina grinned from the bed. "Don't worry about it, Ianto. If she screws up she can always fix your hair so your ears don't show."

"Ianto, Ianto, beauty is pain." Tosh said from the bathroom.

"Aah!" Ianto shouts.

Tosh opens the bathroom door and sticks her head out. "Would you please get me some ice to numb his earlobes?"

"Why don't you just let the cold water run and stick her ear under the faucet?" Martha suggests.

"Oh!" Tosh said as she ducked back into the bathroom.

Christina walked around the room a little bored when Martha stood up and wrapped a silk Chinese robe around herself.

"Personally, I'm getting rather chilly." Martha said with a grin as she waved a fan in front of her face.

"Hey, what's that?" Christina asked.

"From Tom in Korea." Martha said with a smirk.

"Are you going with a Korean?" Rose asked staring at the dragon on the back.

"No, dummy, he's a marine." Martha explained hitting Rose with he closed up fan.

"A marine! Woooohoooo" Christina and Rose screamed.

"You wanna see a picture?" Martha asked as she rushed to the dresser and pulled out her purse, as it opened the pictures rolled out in their plastic hitting the floor.

"God, you're turning into a one-woman U.S.O.!" Christina muttered as she looked at all the different men.

Tosh walked back into the bedroom closing the bathroom door behind her. "Hey, you guys, Ianto's sick. I just did one ear, he saw the blood and blech!"

"You ain't getting your hands on my ears." Rose said holding her earlobes.

"Oh, yeah? Well, you'll be sorry. 'Cos I have been accepted to La Coiffure Beauty School." Tosh sent as she knelt next to Rose.

Rose looks at her shocked. "You mean you're dropping out of Rydell?"

"Hey, I don't look at it as dropping out. I look at it as a very strategic career move." Tosh explained.

"Hey. Why's he torn in half?" Christina asked staring at the pictures.

Martha rolled her eyes. "His old girlfriend was in the picture."

Tosh went searching through her new friend's bag and headed towards the bathroom, gently she knocked on the door. "Uh, Ianto, here's your toothbrush."

Ianto's hand popped out from the gap in the door. "Oh, thanks, Tosh. I'm sorry to be so much trouble."

Tosh sighs. "Oh, it's O.K." She then turns back to her bedroom and watches as Christina puts on a wig.

"Oh. Mr goody-two-shoes makes me wanna barf." Christina mutters.

Christina *Look at me, I'm Ianto Jones*

*Lousy with virginity*

*Won't go to bed, 'til I'm legally wed*

*I can't, I'm Ianto Jones*

Watch it! *Hey, I'm Doris Day*

*I was not brought up that way*

*Won't come across, even Rock Hudson lost*

Christina/Rose/Martha *His heart to Doris Day*

Christina *I don't drink*

Rose and Martha *No!*

Christina *or swear*

Rose and Martha *Ooh!*

Christina *I don't rat my hair*

Rose and Martha *"Ew!*

Christina *I get ill from one cigarette* [coughs]

*Keep your filthy paws off my silky drawers*

*Would you pull that crap with Annette?*

*As for you Troy Donahue*

*I know what you wanna do*

*You've got your crust, I'm no object of lust*

Christina/Martha/Rose/Tosh *I'm just plain Ianto Jones*

Christina *Elvis, Elvis, let me be*

*Keep that pelvis far from me*

*Just keep your cool, now you're starting to drool*

*Hey, Fongul, I'm Ianto Jones*

The bathroom door opens and Ianto stands there. "You making fun of me, Chris?"

"Some people are so touchy." Christina pulls of the wig and tidies up her own hair.

tbc


End file.
